In which your host pontificates about some topic-of-interest or other

[proofreading] [audience] titles


When a reader encounters a story, what's the first thing he sees? Usually, it's the title. And the title is one of the strongest influences, for good or ill, on whether a reader will pick up a story... or pass it by. Your story only has one chance to make a first impression, and the title is what makes it.

Which begs the question: What makes a title? How do you come up with a title that's guaranteed to pique a would-be reader's interest? Sadly, I don't have a sure-fire formula, much though I might wish otherwise. But I can at least give you a selection of titles which I (for whatever reason) feel have a certain 'oomph' to them...

The late (and much-lamented) Cordwainer Smith was an all-around artist, and it shows in his titles. His real name was Paul Myron Anthony Linebarger, and his personal life was at least as interesting as anything he wrote about.

The Ballad of Lost C'mell Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Under Old Earth
The Dead Lady of Clown Town Norstrilia The Burning of the Brain
Three to a Given Star Down to a Sunless Sea The Lady Who Sailed the Soul
Think Blue, Count Two Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons Scanners Live in Vain
The Crime and the Glory of Commander Suzdal Drunkboat

The late Robert A. Heinlein was neither artiste nor auteur, and who cares? The man knew how to write, by damn! Heinlein, like Kipling, will never bask in the plaudits of literary critics; he'll have to content himself with the undying admiration of readers.

All You Zombies Magic, Inc The Menace from Earth
Stranger in a Strange Land And He Built a Crooked House Tunnel in the Sky
Time Enough for Love Double Star The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
Methuselah's Children The Man Who Sold the Moon Glory Road
The Door into Summer I Will Fear No Evil Have Spacesuit -- Will Travel

Harlan Ellison is... something else. He never goes for the throat when a more vital target is available, and it was none other than Ray Bradbury who declared that Ellison "writes like an enchanted son of a bitch". Check these titles:

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream Santa Claus vs S.P.I.D.E.R. Stalking the Nightmare
Strange Wine "Repent, Harlequin!" Said the Ticktockman The Song the Zombie Sang
Deeper Than the Darkness City on the Edge of Forever The Man Who was Heavily into Revenge
Shatterday Emissary from Hamelin Shattered Like a Glass Goblin
Crazy As a Soup Sandwich Midnight in the Sunken Cathedral Approaching Oblivion

Larry Niven is rightly regarded as one of today's foremost writers of 'hard' science-fiction -- the kind that gets the science right. The thing is, Niven is also slightly insane; his mind forms cross-connections between the most unlikely pairs of concepts...

All the Myriad Ways What Can You Say About Chocolate-Covered Manhole Covers?
Inconstant Moon The Deadlier Weapon Death by Ecstasy
Bordered in Black A World Out Of Time Becalmed in Hell
What Good Is a Glass Dagger? The Flight of the Horse Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex
Safe at Any Speed The Ethics of Madness The Magic Goes Away


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